Tuesday, May 19, 2015

time / lake reflections on a monday afternoon, or: the surreality of reality



Monday brought the last of the sunny days for a while - and for me, it brought a drive. To a place I haven't been before: "Bad Waldsee" - "Bath Forestlake". A cure place. With lake. And with Monet-Waterlily-like reflection moments: :

 

Waldsee, it is one of the possible cure places where I can go after the long time of treatments is completed, after this time of chemo and radiation and all that comes with it. The main reason for me to go to Waldsee was to get an idea of that time - to imagine me there, and see if it would be a place for me to relax and recover.



A reflection I hadn't expected: while walking there, I realized this: "The next time I will be here, I will have the treatments completed. I will be beyond chemo, beyond radiation. I will have done it."
It's such a long way. Like a marathon. Good to know that there will be thermal water waiting, which I keep missing:

 

Another thing I realized: Waldsee, it is perfect to get back to jogging - there is whole net of flat walkways, one is leading right around the lake:

 

So glad I went there, and have this place now in mind to look forward to. I hope it all works out. 2 more chemos now. Then radiation. Then: water, air, earth.

Still strange to think of myself of a "cure" patient, though. And even now, still strange to think of me as a cancer patient. This surreality of reality.

And reality: as for chemo, I am doing okay altogether, relatively speaking. That’s actually what the doc noted after the last chemo, when they check back: “Relatives Wohlbefinden” – “Relative Wellbeing”. My blood levels are okay, I am spared the migraines, have no infections and no severe side effects.

And another note on reality: driving to Waldsee probably was about getting a real-life-take of this upcoming time of healing. And also, about reaching out a bit further right now, beyond the current and next week. It probably is also connected to the painting I put together last week, about the long way I am on. Here's more about that, with some more reflections: 3 more weeks of chemo, emotions vs. ratio, and painting it.

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this string of photos and notes... was inspired by photo friday "reflections"



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