little prince + last christmas

Quiet moments: 

The new “Little Prince” film was on in TV. I recorded it to watch it in parts, so that it lasts longer. It’s really good, and I now started to read the book again. And the radio keeps playing "Last Christmas" and other songs from George Michael.

So somehow this Christmas now has this touch of sweet/sad nostalgia, of childhood stories and teenage songs brought back.

(inspired by the #decemberreflections2016)

this year was..., and: 168 hours / week

This year was...
New and intense.
Colorful and difficult.
Sad and happy.

For me, it was a year of growth.
The year of recovering from chemo and all.
The year of finding my way into a new balance.
The year of good news and sad news from co-patients.

It altogether has been a year of reflection, and it fits that this December now turned into the month of #decemberreflections2016.

Reflecting on 2016 also made me think of 2017 - and today I came across a beautiful Ted talk that connects to it. The title of it is: "How to gain control of your free time." But it is touching a larger horizon, it's main focus is "how to build the lives we want in the time we've got.":



I copied the part that I want to try for myself, about building the life we want:

"So how do we do that? How do we treat our priorities as the equivalent of that broken water heater? Well, first we need to figure out what they are. I want to give you two strategies for thinking about this.

The first, on the professional side: I'm sure many people coming up to the end of the year are giving or getting annual performance reviews. You look back over your successes over the year, your "opportunities for growth." And this serves its purpose, but I find it's more effective to do this looking forward. So I want you to pretend it's the end of next year. You're giving yourself a performance review, and it has been an absolutely amazing year for you professionally. What three to five things did you do that made it so amazing? So you can write next year's performance review now.

And you can do this for your personal life, too. I'm sure many of you, like me, come December, get cards that contain these folded up sheets of colored paper, on which is written what is known as the family holiday letter. Bit of a wretched genre of literature, really.... But these letters serve a purpose, which is that they tell your friends and family what you did in your personal life that mattered to you over the year. So this year's kind of done, but I want you to pretend it's the end of next year, and it has been an absolutely amazing year for you and the people you care about. What three to five things did you do that made it so amazing?

And now, between the performance review and the family holiday letter, we have a list of six to ten goals we can work on in the next year.

And now we need to break these down into doable steps. And then -- this is key -- we treat our priorities as the equivalent of that broken water heater, by putting them into our schedules first. We do this by thinking through our weeks before we are in them.I find a really good time to do this is Friday afternoons. Friday afternoon is what an economist might call a "low opportunity cost" time. Most of us are not sitting there on Friday afternoons saying, "I am excited to make progress toward my personal and professional priorities right now." But we are willing to think about what those should be.

So take a little bit of time Friday afternoon, make yourself a three-category priority list: career, relationships, self. Making a three-category list reminds us that there should be something in all three categories. Career, we think about; relationships, self -- not so much. But anyway, just a short list, two to three items in each. Then look out over the whole of the next week, and see where you can plan them in.

Where you plan them in is up to you. I know this is going to be more complicated for some people than others. But I do think that the numbers I am about to tell you are empowering. There are 168 hours in a week. Twenty-four times seven is 168 hours. That is a lot of time. If you are working a full-time job, so 40 hours a week, sleeping eight hours a night, so 56 hours a week -- that leaves 72 hours for other things. That is a lot of time.

So we have plenty of time, which is great, because guess what? We don't even need that much time to do amazing things. But when most of us have bits of time, what do we do? Pull out the phone, right? But small moments can have great power. You can use your bits of time for bits of joy.

It's about looking at the whole of one's time and seeing where the good stuff can go. I truly believe this. There is time. Even if we are busy, we have time for what matters. And when we focus on what matters, we can build the lives we want in the time we've got."

that sparkle of chance

It's almost Christmas time. It should be a week of peace in the world. Instead, it's a week that started with another terrorist tragedy. It's painful to think of all those who went to that market to have a bit of christmas joy, and then find themselves trapped and hurt. 

It's what I thought of when I went to Stuttgart on Tuesday - but then, I didn't want to be trapped in that fear the terrorists want to spread. And so I walked the way I had in mind, the one that leads through the city, through streets full of x-mas decorations and music - and to the Chrismas market at the "Schlossplatz", the centre of the city.

That's also where the art museum is - they have an interesting theme for their current exhibition: “Zufall” – “Chance”. And the museum has lovely city views from the museum floors. The image above is a reflection photo, and the one below is from inside the exhibition:

The theme of chance, it touched me more than I expected. It made me remember the article I read earlier this year that compared different reason-of-death-risks, and the way we react to them. In Germany, the risk to die in a terror attack is lower than the one of flight accidents, which is about 1: 3.360.000. So statistically, we wouldn't need to worry. There are activities with much higher risks: driving a car: 1 : 20.200. And there is smoking: 1 : 260. But all this are just numbers. The art approach, the play with patterns and rules and with chance elements felt closer to the way life presents itself.

There’s more about it online, here: unexpected. And here’s my personal chance zen riddle moment, the 3 panels say: “Chance or art?” – “Chance doesn’t exist” – “You are here due to chance.”

It also made me think of that poem I wrote once about chance, which got published in Soundzine. Well, looking it up, it turns out the poem wasn't about chance, but about it's sister: luck.  

LUCK: 

good or bad fortune in life
caused by accident or chance

           in German: Glück
a word that is close to Lücke – “gap”

which points at the close scale
between good or bad luck

in the case of missing a bus,
or a look
or a realization
by a minute
on an everyday Thursday morning

and all the causes
and consequences
this gap between

your life as it is    //    your life as it almost would have been

/a  gap that you obviously never
will be fully able to grasp/

may encompass

* * *

september snuggle memory

A "snuggle" moment from September, and the note from that day:

A late summer high.
Blue sky and a half moon.
Siesta mood, brought by the red cat.
Reading and purring.

*

#Decemberreflections2016

Something I Love

Something I love
and miss in these grey winter days:
Sunshine.

And all that comes with it:
Being Outside.
Seeing flowers bloom.
Walking barefoot....

*

(for the decemberreflections2016)

water reflection, window reflection

2 reflection moments, both from the island time in May, and some written notes:

In the Buddha spa.
The soothing softness of floating, of an aqua massage.
This thought again while swimming: to be like water.
To embrace the currents of life.

*

Terrace time in tree shade.
Reading Max Frisch's diary 1966-1971.
Turning own memory pages.
Questions and reflections.
A glass bottom boat.
Maps and hazy clouds.
And birds, looking for a nesting place.

*

more memories: #decemberreflections2016

5 years ago... a winter memory

So far, this winter only brought a hunch of snow here in the South of Germany.
But the #decemberreflections now brought back this sweet snow memory from 5 years ago: snowman rolling into being, reaching from Germany to Japan.

*
And here are more #decemberreflections

A (photo) secret

Today's #decemberreflections challenge / theme is: A Secret.

Which is a real challenge, as once you tell a secret, it ceases being a secret. So I looked for a playful approach to that, and googled some quotes about secrets.. which itself was interesting.  There was one quote that read like a zen-riddle, by Diane Arbus:

"A photograph is a secret about a secret. The more it tells you the less you know.” 

So here's a secret about me and museums and photography: When I visit an exhibition, I sometimes catch a photo of other visitors who are immersed in looking at the art. It's probably a reflection of the way I stand there myself - and of the interaction between art and the one who is looking at the artwork.

Looking at the photos now, they take me right back to the museums. The first photo is from February, visiting a light-art exhibition at a museum near here in South Germany.



The second photo is from the Miro exhibition in Frankfurt... and the third is from the Miro museum in Mallorca.



**

More #decemberreflections

winter textures by chance

There already were some frosty nights here - and one of the mornings were clear and cold, with ice crystals forming along spiderwebs. That's what I tried to capture in this picture: the last of the roses, now frozen and the crystal spiderweb. By chance, the camera also caught the contrails of a plane, and some strings of my hair.

Here's another try, with more of the spiderweb (which looks kind of alien cotton like that)

More #decemberreflections

precious

So precious:
The beauty of flowers. Like natural art, leading from spring to autumn.



Now they are sleeping, rolled into seeds and roots.
To unfold again in the next year.



 More december reflections: #decemberreflections2016

Biggest lesson from 2016

Maybe this one:

Life is precious. So cherish those small, fleeting moments. Take time for the things that aren't urgent, but important: for yourself, for your relationships, your friends - time to be, time to muse, time to enjoy life. 

Because it's easy (and less scary) to take life for granted.

Until you have to learn the rough lesson that things can change. That sometimes, a whole life changes in a few weeks. And that there is no reset button, no magic potion that will chase away illness and bring on the happy end, like in so many movies.

*

And I really, really wish that someone will find a cure for cancer soon. It's a troubling illness, and I just hope that my next check-ups all come without any sign for relapse. Right now, I am still dealing with the recent loss of a friend and co-patient. She loved to read, and one of her favourite books was Michael Ende's "Momo" - the illustration she picked for her goodbye note was the wise turtle, who could give advice and told Momo in the midst of her fight against the grey man who tried to take time from people (and what an image in this context): "Keine Angst" - "No fear."

Which, in fact, also connects to the lesson of life is precious. Don't let fear snatch those small, beautiful moments from you.
.
.

I made this / "Inversion" and "Esparar"

If you asked me what my creative "playground" is, my answer for a long time would have been: words. And pictures.

Since last year, there also is: paint. Here's one of my paintings, "Inversion", a play with abstracts, which then turned into a shape of an eye and a maze.

And going through files, I also came across this found poem that I created from a page, which also includes a doodle - that's from August, "Esparar".

 

More december reflections: #decemberreflections2016

Best day 2016: Almzeit - MountainTime

The best day 2016 for me... is hard to pick. But there is one that stood out, and felt like a gift:

In August, we were in Tyrol for a weekend. The hotel handed us a tourist card, which included a free gondola ride. One of the rides went up to the “Gaislachkogl”. Actually, to get to the top it takes two different gondola rides. So I took the first ride, and arrived at the "Halfway" station and went for a walk. Turned it, it was a wonderful place. Here are some notes and photos:

Free ride with the alpine cabin - up to "Almzeit" and on to new trails.
A wooden bench, just in the right place.
Cow bell melodies, and mountain views.

*

At the halfway station, I asked for a ticket for the second ride - and learned that it was free, too. Such a gift. So I boarded the gondola. And got lifted even higher, to the top with view:

Upwards to the top station at 3040 meters.
360 degree mountain panorama.
Up here, eternity has the shape of silvery stone.
A mountain selfie.
And a visual poem of the different kind. The marks we find, the marks we leave...   

Some days later, I had a mountain dream - I stood on a green field, in a timeless mountain landscape, and felt peaceful and free. This dream still vibrates in my memory, just like that day.

on the ground

on the ground
the first snowflakes of winter
and a tree, waiting to be born

*

Today's december reflection theme was "on the ground"... so when I went outside, I actually started to scan the ground for something interesting. And found it, just some metres from the doorstep: a winter still life of stone, snow and a touch of nature.

more #decemberreflections

5 things about me

1) I was born on "Heilig Abend" - Christmas Eve. I still dream of having a summer birthday sometimes. 

2) I like taking reflection photos. Like this one, from the historic museum in Cologne

3) I am usually shy about posting photos of myself. So this is an exception, and you normally won't see me dressed like this either - it's a fun "fairytale" photo from the Frankfurt Bookfair.

4) I love visiting museums. This is a combination of 2) and 4): a reflection photo, taken in the Miro museum. It's also the only photo of me as with this touch of arrow girl

5) I'm into yoga and qigong. That's how this photo happened, in summer, while practicing. 

*

inspired by decemberreflections

in the air tonight

Today's theme for the december reflections is "in the air".

I tried a sunset photo, but then returned to the memory of a bird circling the blue sky, while rays of light streamed down.

Here's the sunset:

And in a synchronicity of themes, yesterday the radio played the perfect song for today's theme: Phil Collins - "In the air tonight":

"I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh Lord
And I've been waiting for this moment for all my life,
Can you feel it coming in the air tonight..."

*

And as I keep scrolling further down to get to to themes and links, here the webpage again: December Reflections, and instagram: #Decemberreflections2016 ... and the themes:

Best Book of 2016 + memories of Miro and sunnier days

It's troubled day here. With bad news following bad news, despite all the Christmas lights. I actually thought about skipping this whole DecemberReflections2016 idea. But then, it feels like a ray of colored sunlight on days like these, and a walk through memories of happier days.

And so my personal best book of 2016 is a colorful art book, one that also is a symbol: the Taschen biography / artography of Miro. It's a wonderful book. I bought it after visiting the Miro exhibition in Frankfurt in April. And learned that there is a Miro museum with Miro's atelier in Mallorca. So I took the book with me, to read it under the Spanish sun... and visit Miro there, on the island that was his home for years.

Here's the memory from back then, with a note and photos:

"Miro museum. Colors shapes emotions. And: his atelier. The place where Miro lived and worked after he moved to Mallorca. His vibe is still here. Makes me want to paint. In bright colours. In constellations."

 

****

And the other fave read of this year: is a re-read of a found book. I came across it in the "telephone book box" (a book exchange installed in an old telephone box). And back home, starting to read, and not wanting to end. It's a memoir of Meike Winnetmuth, who at age 50 gets the chance to be candidate in a quiz show - and wins half a million Euro. She decides to go travelling for a year, with the plan to visit 12 countries, and live in each one for a month in a city.

   

The book is written in letters, starting with a letter from Sydney... here's the list of the 12 cities:

Sydney

Buenos Aires

Mumbai

Shanghai

Honolulu

San Francisco

London

Kopenhagen

Barcelona

Tel Aviv

Addis Abeba

Havanna

Hamburg

Like during the first read, I read the book at the pace of 1 city / day and loved it. "It's probably one of the best books I read this year so far. Found by chance," that's what I noted when I read it first. It's still true.

In widening circles

Today: a cold but sunny December Sunday.
Today: the theme for decemberreflections2016 today: Circle
Today: sleeping until 8, and remembering a liquid dream
Today: still trying to grasp the terribly sad news from a friend.
Today: a walk. talking about life, good and bad luck, fate, and hope.
Toaday: tears. memories. a Rilke poem, and a circle mandala, for some solace.

***

Widening Circles

I live my life in widening circles 
that reach out across the world. 
I may not complete this last one 
but I give myself to it. 

I circle around God, around the primordial tower. 
I've been circling for thousands of years 
and I still don't know: am I a falcon, 
a storm, or a great song? 

- Rainer Maria Rilke, Book of Hours, I 2
  (translation by J. Macy and A. Barrows at "On Being")

***

Fave photo of 2016

I still remember this morning, like it was just some days ago: waking up early, looking out of the window, seeing the tunes of sunrise in the air – and slipping into my jacket and out of the door, to be right there.

And there is this other layer of meaning: a year ago, that time, I was in the middle of chemotherapy. Dreamed of a normal life again. And of walks along the ocean. Hoped that things would be okay.

Since then, I realized that the things that I took for granted for so long - to be healthy, to be free to make plans, to travel - that they actually aren't so sure. That life can change in a day. That you never know. But also: that life is so beautiful. That each new day, each sunrise, is a gift.

So the photo is also a symbol, for all the single new days of this year.

*

For the #decemberreflections
And for more notes from that time, visit this page.

star / light

Today was all overcast and rainy. But the week had some sunny hours. Like this one above: an afternoon sunset moment. And once the sun sets, it's time for candlelight. And for the real starlight. I even had a starlight dream: I was standing in an open space, with a wide horizon (like back then, in the desert of Rajasthan). All was peaceful and the stars so bright, such an abundance - and there was Orion. Like an eternal butterfly of flight.

And 2 light memories: smallstones, from January:

*

Tuesday morning. dark sky with a string of blue,
and at the horizon, a pulsing stream of lights,
coming and going -
early morning traffic

*

Half past five, daylight fading already
lighting a candle, I look up and see
right above the roof:
the moon

***

more skies from everywhere: skywatch friday
and more light notes: #decemberreflections